*Dedicated to Twitter Follower Stacey Schwab*
Being in the Pageant Industry since the age of four looking your best has always been a top priority and never an option. When I retired from pageantry at the ripe old age of 24 I was 11% body fat, was over dosed on fat burners and weighed each and every morsel of food that went into my mouth. Psycho much?! How I even thought that was normal is beyond me. Then one day I woke up and I was like, EFF THIS!!! This life is not serving me any more! I am depressed, unhappy, not fulfilled and just plain sick of it all. I felt really alone and promised myself that from that day on my body would be my Temple, but not the Temple of Doom. So… I started eating what I wanted, in moderation. If I wanted a piece of cake or a cocktail I allowed it and all of a sudden I was happier, felt more free and alive. I was a slave to the scale and I finally had the courage to break free. That all being said, true freedom for a women is loving who you are not only on the outside but more importantly on the inside. When I was ripped I hated who I was right down to my very core/ When I allowed my self to soften up, not beat myself up for having some ice cream and not bashing myself if I missed a workout I truly became free. Let me tell you, that was an awakening to say the least!!
Even still almost 8 years off of retiring from pageants and the cruel lifestyle I was putting my body through I still struggle with wanting to look that way again. Clients will look at old pageant photos of me and say, I want those arms, I want your six pack yada…yada…yada. The sad part is if they only knew that I may have looked that way on the outside but on the inside I was screaming for help! People all over the world will Twitter and Facebook me and call me fat and ask why I am not walking my walk and you know what I say. Go Screw!!! When you are perfect, let me know. Until then keep telling yourself that true beauty means being uber skinny. We as a society are brain washed little creatures who follow only what media grinds into our pathetic little brains the idea that you can never be too rich or too thin. Malarky I say!!! I used to be one of those people. I think that is why I never had a meaningful relationship with a man until Matthew. He is the only one that has ever truly loved me for myself, the good, the bad and the dimpled. I was so obsessed with what I looked all the time there was no time for love or happiness, only cardio and e.g. whites. I also was stuck dating guys that only dated me because of my looks and ya know what, looks fade. If you are with someone that only “loves” you for what you look like then when you get a dimple of cellulite on your ass or a wrinkle on your forehead that person will leave and you will be alone. Rightfully so if that is the relationship types you choose to have. That is the truth. Surround yourself with people who love you because you are helpful, sweet and caring. Not because you half an booty you can bounce a quarter off of or abs you can scrub laundry on because those things are frivolous and fleeting. Beauty in my opinion comes in all shapes and sizes and just because I or maybe you are not a size 0 doesn’t mean that we are not fit, healthy and beautiful.. Honestly, the most unhealthy I ever was was when I was competing in pageants in my late teens early twenties. Since then I do not get sick anymore, I am always happy and alert and love my life now. I would never go back to my old life EVER!
So I am now going to get off my soap box now because at the end of the day I do promote a healthy lifestyle and beauty. I just wanted you to get to know the REAL Katie Boyd, not the one you think you know from TV. The ladies I train want those things I just mentioned and who am I to deny them? Everyone on this Earth no matter who you are wants two things, to feel love and to be attractive. So here we go. You wanna look the best you can for a big event? Be not fooled by my rantings of bamboozlement, I am no Mother Teresa. I want to look fly in a Herve Leger bandage dress just as much as the next crazy lady so there are some steps you can take for getting ready for a red carpet event, pageant, photo shoot or for da club! Whatever tickles your pickle for a nickel.
Enjoy and execute at your own Risk~
Katie Boyd’s 7 Tips for being Wicked Fit
1. Cut Out All Dairy~From your diet at least two weeks before the event. That means no cheese of any kind, milk, yogurt, even Greek yogurt and creamer in your coffee. I used to be an extra cream kinda gal but I cannot even stomach the consistency never mind the taste.I have cleansed it out of my system about 5 years ago. I now drink nothing but So Delicious Creamer in my coffee. Milk has lactose and lactose can cause the appearance and severity of cellulite. It is also extremely bloating even if you are not “lactose intolerant”. For me, Milk also will make my skin really bad. I can tell if I over do it in the cheese department because I will get bouts of cystic acne. When I really am watchful of my milk intake my skin looks like buttah…no pun intended. Sorry kids, hate to burst your bubble but Milk is bad news if you really are serious about looking your best. If you have cream in your coffee just starting dropping percentages down until you hit skim then go over to the So Delicious! Everything in baby steps if you are going to attempt something this debilitating. I have clients whose eyes well up with tears when I tell them to chill it with the milk. No Jokes!!!
2. Cut Out All Starchy Carbs~No pasta, even if it is whole wheat, which is in my opinion the FDA’s way of making you feel like you are being healthier. LIES!!! All LIES!!! I just love when my clients are like, oh I had meatballs last night but I had it with whole wheat pasta”. I literally shart in my office every time I hear that. Gluten is gluten! Nothing more nothing less. It is GLUE! If you cannot wash flour down the sink with water then what the hell do you think it is doing to tour insides. No wonder why so many people have Celiac’s Disease, Gluten Allergies, Ulcerative Colitis and so on and so on. Because this junk is actually gluing down cilia in our intestines causing a plethora of illness. No Bueno! Also no rice unless it is wild or brown. No potatoes unless they are sweet or yams. No sugar at all unless it is fruit. So no cakes, candy, crackers, bread unless it is Ezekiel Bread. Carb sources should only come from Quinoa, Brown Rice or sweet potato. Fruits should be lower glycemic as well. That means they do not make your insulin spike which will cause fat storage if you do not use the sugar for energy. If you want to choose fruit that is a no brainer always make sure it is fresh, never dried, can be frozen and if it is grown close to the equator like mangoes, banana, pineapple, guava etc that means the sugar content is higher. Limit these as much as you can. Apple, berries, pears, plums, peaches, nectarines are your best best. People will say, well carbs give me energy! Yes you would need more carbs if you were living in the 1800’s and you were building the American Railway and working 16 hours a day but the most that some people do during the day is go to Starbucks, do a mundane walk on the treadmill for a half an hour, go pick up the kids at school, go to Neiman Marcus, then order take out for dinner. What carbs do people like that really need? Now I am not making fun of that lifestyle but it really irks me when people are like…”I need carbs, I am going to die without carbs” screaming about carbs during their nutrition intake. It is just funny to me…and ya know what I can say whatever I want because this is my blog! So put that in your pipe and smoke it!
3. Drink at least one gallon of distilled water a day. Why Distilled? Well, distilled water has no minerals, deposits, sodium etc. It will hydrate you without adding bloat. The water will also flush out any toxins that you are storing in your system and usually when you are hungry it is almost 100% of the time thirst. Next time you are ravenous, drink a large glass of water first before you reach for that snack. If the hunger is still there in ten minutes then you can eat but I bet you anything the water will kill the hunger every time. Water also makes your skin look vibrant and gorgeous and looking good at a big event is not only just about how tight your tush is. If your skin looks like holy hell you might just be the “Butter Face” of the party. If distilled water is hard to get or too expensive invent in a little water purifier. PUR water is the one I was at my house and the water tastes great!
4. Eat Diuretic Vegetables~Green veggies in general keep the “Pipes” clean if ya know what I mean? Wink…wink…. Have you ever had a “caca belly” and tried strapping that sucker down with some Spanx, yeah, well it is not a pleasant sight or feeling. Been there done that! WARNING!!! You should be pooping at least once a day! LISTEN, if you are reading this and you are like, eeeeewwww…this girl is gross, or trash or has a potty mouth then stop reading right now and never return to this website and please do not even think about trying to be my acquaintance never mind a client at KBMFC. This is how I speak…but most importantly I am an expert in poop and you should be too. Pooping is the only way to tell if you are truly healthy. All the toxins in your body are eliminated in four ways. The liver, kidneys, skin and bum. If you do not have daily BM’s at least once a day and you have acne, body odor, joint pain, depression, exhaustion then you are probably toxic. Toxic bodies cannot lose weight, it is a proven fact. The only way to fix this is through cleansing the system and the easiest way to do it is by eating green leafy veggies. You can also add physllium fiber to protein shakes that will also help move this issue along. Veggies that should be eaten in abundance are broccoli, string beans, zucchini, summer squash, cucumbers, kale, collards, lettuce in every form, celery, brocollini, broccoli rabe, spinach, artichokes, and asparagus.That list goes on and on. Best part is If you start going number two on the regular I promise you will end up being Numero UNO!!! Get it…?
5. Carb Deplete a week before the event. This is a modified version of the carb depletion I use for my models, pageant girls and cheerleaders before a photo shoot or competition. I simplified this one a little so that everyone can use this.
Carb Depletion~do for one week prior to big event~ Eat meals every three hours upon waking.
Meal One~ 2 egg whites with 10 steamed asparagus
Meal Two~ Muscle Milk Lite
Meal Three~ 4 oz of white fish like cod or haddock with 2 cups of cucumbers
Meal Four~ 2 egg whites or 1 Muscle Milk Lite
Meal Five~ 4 of of chicken breast with either 2 cups of cucumbers or 10 steamed asparagus
One Gallon of Distilled Water a Day
WARNING!!! Just know, if your big event is a party or a vacation and you are going to be drinking like Nicholas Cage in the movie Leaving Las Vegas be warned, you will get ballicky bare assed drunk,literally off of one drink! No questions asked you will be a cheap date, hell you may even pee in you Louboutins, (that has never happened to me before, I just heard of a friend of a friend doing it once don’t go off the deep end!) I cannot even keep track of the times that clients have depleted and then hated on me for their drunken debauchery. I warned you! The End! oooh…and BTW…If babies are a result of this depletion you may name them Katie for a girl or Boyd, which in Gaelic means light haired if it is a boy.
6. Spray Tan~Nothing looks worse than a pasty chick in flesh tone pumps! Don’t even get me started on see through panty hose. I just cringed when I typed that. A spray tan will make you look ten pounds thinner regardless if you ignore all 5 of the fore mentioned tips. A good spray tanner Like Monique Jones from MOKA Tanning can even contour you and shade in abs…just saying.OH, and girls always think that “booty dust” aka bronzer with shimmer makes you look sexy. News Flash!!! It doesn’t. It makes you look like a street walker or a 15 year old girl at a rave. It also makes you look thicker because the light shimmers off the booty dust creating a widening effect. So if you are competing with Soul Glo on you legs and you don’t win swim suit please don’t say I didn’t tell you so!
7. Watch Your Posture~You can workout and eat right until the cows come home but if you slouch like a homeless man selling flowers on the corner of Mass Ave and 93 then you will always look frumpy and dumpy. When my friends and I take pictures out and about or at a photo shoot we always stand in pageant stance, one arm on the hip and a twist in the torso to make our waistlines look longer and leaner. We have all been doing this since we were in the womb, Just look at my mother’s sonogram!
I hope that this was both educational and funny! I would love to hear your feedback and if there are any questions that you would like to ask…ask away! I hope at your next event you can apply these tips and look and feel Wicked Fit!
xoxo Katie Boyd